Alas…wrinkles and worry

My latest struggle with kindergarten has fostered the arrival of new lines and wrinkles on my otherwise youthful appearance. While clearly naive, I never thought my kids would have problems in school. They have never had problems before, so what is different about kindergarten? In reflecting on the last few weeks, I realize that there is so much more to parenting then just parents and children. The simplicity of what I can remember as ‘the good ole days’ of communication between parents and caregivers has reached a new level of throwing verbal punches and defensiveness. I guess I was not ready for the first, “And what IS happening at home?” As a response to something that happened at school. And “This has got to stop!” After a scribble on paper. As a parent of a 6 year old, the expectations I have of my daughter are that she try her very hardest in school, that she learn from her mistakes and move forward as an individual. The old adage that ,”kids will be kids” should not be used as an excuse for behavior, but as a reminder to adults that kids are not miniature adults but young individuals. Throwing stickers at them for good behavior may work at 6 but it is not going to teach them life skills. This too shall pass, right! I have to continue to remind myself of this.

 

Motherhood: At a Glance

I have experienced some recent tests to my ego as a mother. It has put me in my place and has allowed me countless hours of reflection and perseveration.

Kelsey (my little angel) has been getting in trouble at school. I was able to pass it off as kindergarten transition for a while, but realized sometime after the second humiliating call home from school that something needed to be done. So we scheduled a doctor’s appointment to have a check-up and ensure all the physiological avenues were addressed. The appointment was last week…

The nurse asked me what kind of referrals we needed and I answered with a definitive, “I don’t know.” The nurses statement, “Well, I don’t know what you expect from us if you don’t know what you need,” put me back in my place once again. Gone are the days when a doctor’s visit has to include a specific purpose (getting a referral), I just wanted to run the behaviors past a person who has known Kelsey since she was born, her doctor. The doctor came in and was much more understanding, and indicated that there was nothing to worry about at this point.

I left with a sense that Kelsey was cured. I don’t know why? However, in a frenzy of uncontrolled energy she hit a boy at Sunday School this weekend. We realize there are no quick answers as parents, just a lot of gut-checks.

 

Letter to my personal editor “Me”

Did you have to barricade yourself in your room Friday night when the she-law came to town?

All she did was attack your parenting for the um-teenth time (getting the kids to clean up their own messes) and suggest that her lovely son should continue to rough-house with your dog until he reached the point of attack dog after you politely requested him to stop.

On Saturday did you have to bite her head off while riding in your car with her?

She was only attacking your parenting for a second time during the weekend for allowing her, I mean, your child to wear her shoes on wrong feet… comparing the situation to a third grader in a class that she was a substitute for and wearing his flipflops on the wrong feet because his parents obviously don’t pay much attention to him either.

On Sunday did you really feel that it was necessary to avoid her completely and skip brunch?

After all, she paid and only makes judgemental statements because she loves you and feels obliged to provide personal attacks in the most lovingly of grandparental ways.

Really…you take things too personally!

 

Color Me Happy

I have mentioned in public and private settings, once or twice, of the fear that my youngest isn’t picking up on things-such as colors.

As a parent, there are so many things to fear; looking both ways before crossing the street, germs and megagerms infecting your children, and setting your child or children up for happiness and intelligence. It is the latter that has taken much of my attention with Kylie. She is a funny and happy kid; she can crack a joke about nothing and make everyone in the room laugh (she is 3 years old by the way). She has had many colds and fevers this winter that have drained my energy and I am sure hers too. A few weeks ago, I was reading “Brown Bear” to her. As children do, she was reciting the story, but was leaving off the color of the animal. I did not think much of it, until the end of the story where there is a picture of all of the animals and a cue to recite all of them. Again, she skipped the colors. It was no biggy at first until I began to run the scene through my head, she is young and will start school young with an August birthday. It all comes down to; I want her to succeed. I vigorously began working with her on colors, but she did not seem to be getting it so I have left it alone for the last few weeks.

Two days ago I was picking her up from day care and the daycare lady said, “Kylie put your mittons on, its cold today.” Kylie replied, “No”, as many 3 years olds respond. Again the daycare person said, “Kylie, with all of the colds you have had you need to wear your … by the way what color are they…your mittons.” My heart sank, I responded quietly, “You know, she does not know her colors.” Daycare person responded in a smug way, “YES she does, she has been putting on a big act for you.” I sighed, “Ok” Daycare lady said, “Kylie before you leave what color are your mittons, before you get your Valentine balloon you need to tell us.” Kylie said, “Purple.” And then she laughed. Daycare person said, “Kylie come on.” “Purple!” she said again (the actual color is green). The daycare lady said, “Ok, no balloon for Kylie.” Then she said, “No! They are green!”

I just have to continually repeat this to myself, “this too shall pass.”

 

A different kind of love

A post especially for the she-law (for your eyes only and whoever else wants to read it):

Why are you a bitch? I think you take time prior to your visits to figure out a way to make my life miserable…and take special thought in making your evil touch, thoughtlessness, and jabbing comments sting as long as possible after you leave. You believe you are a strong Christian, but you speak negatively and judgementally of every person in your life while you are around me, my family and I am sure after you leave. You wonder why I question your comments and sincerity? Because much of what you say is bull-shit and your opinions are from comments in editorial sections of your local newspaper. You are not unique or genuine and I have a hard time listening and talking to you about my life and my kids when you hold your own value judgements about my “bad mothering” and spread your filthy lies to everyone. You are who you are, but you will not be able to change my children to be “perfect children” in your eyes. Be yourself, but mind your mouth and respect me in my home, or you will not be welcome back.

Part 2 to come Monday…

 

Parenting Choices

Parenthood brings with it a barrage of choices; breast or bottle, pacifier or thumb, pink or blue vs yellow, spank or logical consequences, organic vs grocery store value brands, and many … many more.

Alot of these choices I have made quickly and easily, even though I struggle with decisions on a daily basis; for instance the question of what to have or where to go for lunch when eating out is quite a painstaking struggle for me and others at times.

The latest parenting decision took quite a bit of thought, dance or gymnastics for the kids. My kids are 3 and 4 years old so my goal of signing them up for extra-curricular activities such as either of these activities is to expose them to exercise and an opportunity to help them better develop their coordination. Both kids know what “dancing” is and love music, but when researching the classes available in our area I became quickly became aware of the excessive price ($45 per month for 9 mths x 2 for the second child plus $120 for costumes x 2). My desire to see the children laughing and dancing in a recital was quickly squashed, maybe next year if we start saving now.

So I began looking at alternatives and gymnastics quickly came to mind. I did gymnastics as a kid for a few years, I was no Mary Lou Retton, so my dream of competing in the Olympics came and went quickly. Putting the dream of Olympics aside, I thought the kids might have fun with it, so I explained to Kelsey that she might have the opportunity to try gymnastics. “What is ‘NYMNATIS’?” she asked innocently. So last night I showed her a somersault, and a cartwheel, and Shane showed her a round-off. And they tried the somersault and quickly fell in love with the idea of gymnastics and have been asking ever since when class starts. Yet another decision made! Sept 5 it starts, by the way, so I am sure there will be more to come on this topic.

 

The little Duo

Yesterday Kelsey had the same procedure as Kylie did a few months ago which diagnosed her as having bladder reflux. The whole procedure went quite well, although we will not know the results for a few days. Kelsey was quite a trooper and described the procedure to Kylie when we got home:

Kylie: “What you do at the doctor?”

Kelsey: “There was a tube in me that made me go pee. The tube was next to my butt and it hurt a little bit. The test was to test that my poop is ok. Right Daddy? I watched sponge bob and got two stickers.”

Kylie: “Oh, you ok Kelkie.”

Kelsey: “Yep! I think so.”

 

Animal Barricade

Ever since I began watching the tv show On the Lot scenarios in my life have been played back in my mind like movie scenes. The show while not all that entertaining has apparently caught onto a neuron in my head.

With this said an event that played out with Kelsey was quite entertaining played back as a movie as I reviewed the event last night before bed.

“There was once a little girl named Kelsey. While her life seemed quite ordinary, simple things in her world became larger then life. Take the simple activity as going to bed…one might think a child of her stature would go to bed quite simply; read story, brush teeth, tuck her in, hugs and then off to dreaming the simple dreams of a four year old. However, there was a whole different world going on behind the closed door that we could see. Apparently when the lights go out and the door closes, the mystery of monsters, gobblins and thunderstorms abound in Kelsey’s little room. The only way to protect her little self from these scary monstrosities is to create a shield of fluffy animals and cover oneself with them. Within the realm of stuffed animals lies a peace and quiet where a child can feel comforted to drift off to dream land.”

 

Vacation’s Over

I woke up today eagerly anticipating my return to work 😉 after a one week vacation boating, swimming, fishing and some much needed time playing with the kids. It was a beautiful week and we had a blast; no work, she-laws, or chaotic home stuff to deal with.

So today I returned to work. The beginning of my day started at my dentist’s office. I am a frequent flyer through the dental office and am getting to know my dentist alittle too well with my recent surgery and all. I realized that this morning when my 50-ish male dentist said, “Hey Colleen, great haircut!” Only a few more weeks and my dental ordeal will be over (hopefully for a long, long time).

Back at home tonight we made chocolate covered bananas. Some of the left over over-indulgence from vacation perhaps. After eating her second choc-covered banana Kelsey said, “Hey mom, ya know bananas aren’t really dessert!” My response, “Yes, oh yes they are!” No response from her. Apparently she got the picture too…vacation really is over.

 

Chocolate Bunnies & Cough Medicine

The devil’s snacks came to haunt me today during the girls nap-time. I was restfully relaxing next to my mother-in-law as I heard, “DAADDYY!” I initially said, “Kelsey, get back to bed.” But then came to realize it was Kylie. Again I heard, “DAADDYY!” I went up to check only to find my little spider girl up on top of her dresser drawer with an open bottle of cough medicine spilled down the front of her and on her face as her little hands clenched half of a chocolate bunny from Easter, which also covered her face and hands. She sat there almost like a drunken sailor. HMM HMM good, cherry kids robitussin and chocolate bunny, a wonderful afternoon snack.

Between the slight bit of caffeine in the cough medicine and much more in the bunny she did not nap (I should mention, the bottle was almost empty when she got her little hands on it). No coughs today!